Pretty (and) Stupid

"You can't be pretty and smart."

Yes, my mother in law really said that. A few times she would say to my cat, "It's a good thing you're pretty, 'cause you sure aren't smart." She likes to say things like this when I'm around. She must think that I don't know the game she's playing. Just because I choose to stay quiet doesn't mean I don't know anything. One of these days I might actually challenge her little theories. But that's exactly what she wants, to strike a debate with someone so she can use her vast intelligence to prove them wrong and show that she is all knowing. She tried that with my mom the first time they met, but what she wasn't counting on was my mom being very educated about Native Americans as well. She dropped that after the first question haha.
But anyways, I have so many questions about this that I would love to hear her answers for. After all, it's just a cat, what do you expect? A college degree? And since looks are all about opinion, how does that work? Some people think I'm pretty and some don't, so which is it? Am I stupid or smart?
Cynthia, you must be pretty fucking hot because that is one of the dumbest things I have ever heard.

Thoughts

Every time I post in my blog, it doesn't take long before I starting wondering if I should or shouldn't have said this or that. I worry about what someone will think, if I've offended someone. I wonder if I should go back and delete that sentence or paragraph. I wonder who's judging me or if someone might not want to be my friend after reading what I said. But at the same time I tell myself that I'm just speaking my mind in the only place that I feel comfortable. My blog is really for me and what I say is how I feel. This is me, and as much as I would hate to lose any of the few friends that I have, I can't please everybody. I'm really different from most people, everyone I know, and no one will ever understand me. I probably wouldn't have any friends at all if anyone knew everything about me. When I'm shy or just quiet people think I'm rude, and when I try to be confident people think I'm a bitch. I just can't win.

Been too long!

I thought for sure that I would up with a new blog when I got one, and here I am just now writing for the first time since April. Ugh! I start getting behind in entries and then I just don't know where to start....

Well the last time I wrote, I was preggers. Now, not so much haha. Colleen Renee Louis was born June 18th at 12:09 am, weighing in at 9 pounds even! She will be three months old in a week! She is such a little chunk. I think she will be beating up Tristan in no time. I assumed that her and Tristan would be the same growing up, but so far she is almost the complete opposite of him, other than being a big baby. And she absolutely adores Tim! She gets so happy to see him and will stop eating just to stare at him. If she can't see him, she will stare in the direction of his voice haha. I'm only good for holding her :( But Tristan is such a momma's boy so I guess that makes up for it.
At my six week postpartum checkup, I told the doctor that we wanted my husband to get fixed but was told that they won't do the procedure until the baby is six months old. I asked her the reasoning for this and she said that it's in case the parents change their mind about having any more kids. This really pisses me off! My plan has always been to only have two kids. I got my boy and girl just like I wanted. I don't want any more. I would be so unbelievably pissed off if I were to get pregnant again. I would truly hate my life at that point. Of course I would love any child that I brought into this world unconditionally, but I still don't want to go there. If I want more kids THAT bad later, then I'll adopt. That's what people should be doing anyways instead of having NINETEEN. So anyways, just three more months to go before they will snip Tim. Ugh can't wait. Which reminds me, the doctors have also totally fucked up my birth control and won't give it to me for two weeks, so I'll be starting over. Assholes GRRR!

Tristan is going to be three years old in a few weeks! It's crazy. He's been telling me everything he wants for his birthday and it's so cute. I really need to hurry up and start buying some of his presents! I'm sad that we don't have anyone to celebrate his birthday with us. I hate being away from home and not having any friends here.

Halloween is coming just a few weeks after Tristan's birthday and we are so excited! We recently moved into a nice big and new house and apparently this neighborhood is THE place for trick or treating on the base. There are a lot of kids around here which I'm not used to. No one trick or treated in Marek Park so last year was very sad. We bought lots of candy and got Tristan dressed up, but no one came and no neighbors passed out candy. It was very depressing for me. But this year should be better and I can't wait to see what happens. Tim is so excited to stay home with the little zebra and pass out candy, and I am looking forward to taking Batman around to experience the holiday for the first time! We don't want him to have very much candy but we still want him to have fun :D He wants to be Batman again this year and wants a Batman birthday too. He has this little Batman toy that is his best (and only) friend and is with him at all times. It's cute and sad at the same time.

Well it's past my bedtime so I'll have to write some more later, hopefully soon. I just had to write something before bed since it was driving me crazy! Oh, and here's a couple quick rants: 1. If you see someone pulling out of their parking spot, calm the fuck down and just let them go instead of driving around them anyways! Do you really want to be the dumbass who gets into an accident in a PARKING LOT??? 2. It's 9/11 and all of Afghanistan is flipping the fuck out because some stupid American in Florida wants to burn their bible. Really? It's just a book, you have more. And stupid American in Florida, you are not a true Christian and can burn instead. And to everybody else, see what believing in Gods and bibles does to you? It makes you hate each other. You've totally missed the point.

WIC

Women, Infants, and Children. If you are pregnant and/or have kids, you get some free food every month. I get a set of coupons and Tristan gets a set. It's great that I get all of the milk, juice, and bread that I need. It's okay that I get some of the other stuff but I don't always need it. It's stuff that we just don't eat that often. I mean do I really need two jars of peanut butter and four to six boxes of cereal every month?! Right now I have five boxes of cereal and eight jars of peanut butter just sitting collecting dust. I also get cheese, eggs, and some produce that goes to waste sometimes. I don't have to get everything that's offered to me on the coupons but the checkout ladies always hassle me and run to get the stuff that I "missed".
So Tristan and I had our latest WIC appointments this morning. They took Tristan's weight and height. Then they took my weight. Great. There's another fucking three pounds. WTF. Three pounds in one week?! It's not like I'm eating badly, or even any differently than from before I was pregnant so I have no idea where all of this extra weight is coming from, or even where it's hiding. It's rediculous. On top of that, the woman at our appointment is a retired Army dietitian and decides that she is going to pick through the food log that I had made yesterday. It's not enough to just give me my new coupons and let me get out of there. No, oh no. She had to go through everything that Tristan and I ate yesterday and point out our portion sizes and compare them to her chart of what they were supposed to be. So apparently Tristan drinks too much milk and juice (watered down btw) and what the hell was I thinking eating that side of chips with the Subway that I had for dinner. A granola bar?? I'm out of control! I'm sure if it were up to her I would be on a diet right now. Hell, maybe I should be. Maybe I should just eat what I get from my coupons and that's it. I won't get any meat, but that's okay because the cereal and peanut butter are filled with iron and protein. They say not to use "eating for two" as an excuse to eat whatever you want. I don't. They also say not to diet while you're pregnant. We'll see about that.
Nobody eats the way they should. Nobody is perfect. FUCK. OFF. And while you're busy doing that, I'll be sitting right here eating some ice cream. Right before my organs shut down. Thanks.

From Snail, with love.

Today is Easter Sunday but it's just another day in this house. Tim and I have never celebrated Easter together. I used to love all the family gatherings at my grandma's house for holidays but not because they actually meant anything to me. I just loved the food. I am not a religious person so I don't care about the "meaning" of Easter, and Tim absolutely hates Easter because the Christians stole it from the Pagans. But I don't care about all of that. I just want a little basket of candy and cute things! But Tim will have nothing to do with it. Guess I'm a little old for it anyways. But! Now I have Tristan, and soon another one, so I can still have all of my Easter fun with them instead!
Tristan doesn't even know about Easter yet and this year I really wanted to put together a little basket for him. I don't get out much but the last few times that I have gone out to the store I didn't see any things to make a basket. All that I saw were ugly premade baskets filled with things that I don't want Tristan to have yet. I know that I could have just bought it and replaced all the things in it but I kept procrastinating. So here we are, Easter Sunday, and I don't have a basket for Boogies. I guess it's okay though. There is always next year when he's older and I won't mind as much if he has a little bit of candy. I try to keep him away from as much sweets as possible, so I think that I'm doing better than a lot of parents.
I did pick up two cute little Easter toys that I happen to see a few weeks ago though so I was able to give him at least something today, even though he doesn't know why he got them. One is a small snail plushie that vibrates and scoots along for a few inches when you pull his cord. Tristan likes snails, I LOVE snails, and it was just too cute. The other small toy that I got was a plastic egg snow globe sitting in a basket being held by a white bunny. I thought it was perfect for Tristan because he his always trying to play with a big ceramic Christmas snow globe that I have. He always wants to see it snowing. Even though this Easter one is very small and probably not as pretty and fun to look at, I thought that he might still get some enjoyment out of it.
Maybe next year when our friends from Misawa are here we can "celebrate" Easter with a nice big delicious meal. Mmmm. Hopefully they know better than to invite me to church.

Zumba

I had to wake up early this morning to photograph a Zumba class. A very large Zumba class. Over 200 people showed up. It was a Zumba-thon for Autism awareness month. A three hour Zumba-thon.
I had never seen it before but I knew that it was some kind of fun workout that everyone seems to be in love with these days. So it's just like dancing I guess. You follow the moves your instuctor does to dance music. Only it's a workout so you're getting lots of exercise. I used to get just as much exercise dancing back home every weekend when my best friend and I would hit the clubs. And I did it drunk. But since there are no dance clubs here and I'm sure most people would like to get a good workout without being surrounded by a room full of drunk people and smoke, I can see why it's so popular. It's a fun way to get into shape without doing the boring stuff in the gym. And since my clubbing days are far behind me, I wouldn't mind trying Zumba myself since I love dancing.
So I had to just circle everyone like a vulture for a couple hours and constantly take photos of them bouncing around, all sweaty, and probably wishing that someone wasn't pointing that camera in their direction. Sorry guys, I had to. I got paid to do it. It's your instructor's fault.
It was pretty boring. 360 pictures and they all look the same. It was crazy how many people were wearing tops and pants that they ordered that actually say Zumba on them. And apparently the line started at seven o'clock this morning. They didn't even start letting people in the building until nine, and then it didn't get started until nine thirty. I definitely felt odd walking up to the building since I just happen to look like I was dressed for the class. Everyone was probably wondering what this crazy pregnant lady thought she was doing. But I stayed away from the line as much as possible and was able to slip in the front door and hang out on the far side of the gym away from everyone else. The instructors and a couple other people in charge of the event were all very nice though and apparently couldn't resist talking to the girl with the big fancy camera. Everyone else had their little pocket size cameras and were taking pictures of each other and getting their pictures taken with the instructors.  They were all so excited.  I don't know why it was such a big deal. 
I will probably start editing the photos tomorrow. I am definitely not doing all of them though.

28 wk checkup

I am actually twenty nine weeks today, but I had to keep rescheduling my appointments last week. I thought that I would only be there for about two hours this morning but I ended up being there for four hours instead.
First I had to get my vitals taken while waiting to see the doctor. I dreaded stepping onto the scale because I know that I've been gaining more weight than my first pregnancy. I couldn't help but look at the numbers. 160. Ugh. I have gained thirty five pounds already. That's the max weight that I'm supposed to gain for my size. When Tristan was born I was only at 157. Well, that was the day before he was born. I had actually dropped four pounds over night from not being able to eat anything because of my contractions. I don't look like I've gained any weight so I'm glad that I carry it well. But I still have about eleven weeks to go, so hopefully I can keep it in check. I just went for a walk a little bit ago and I am going to keep that up every night from now on. Sucks walking by myself though. If I still had my white cat Ivy I would be able to take her with me. She loved putting the harness on and going for walks.
After seeing the doctor, a whole waste of about ten minutes, I had to go down to the lab to take the glucose test and pick up my Rhogam shot to take back down to the ob/gyn. At the lab the really cool guy at the counter asked me if I wanted to get my blood drawn once or twice. Once, I have to sit there for two hours. Twice, I only have to sit there for one hour. I don't have a problem with needles and needed to get this over with so I opted for getting stuck twice. They drew some blood before I drank the cup of orange sugar, and then again an hour later. Not only was I waiting for the disgusting sugar to do it's thing, I had to wait for them to prepare a dose of antibodies for my blood type to use in the Rhogam injection. After getting my blood drawn the second time, I left the lab with my shot and headed back upstairs. Only the elevators were out now. Fuck. I was on the second floor and had to go all the way up to the fifth floor. One flight of stairs, fine. But three? Goddamn it. By the time I got up to the ob/gyn, not only were the nurses gone to lunch for the next forty five minutes, but the new hole in my arm had bled alot on the way up. Lovely. The entire ball of gauze was soaked. The other arm had bled more than usual, but not as much as this.
One o'clock finally came and all the other patients that had come in were getting called in to their appointments. Apparently my nurse was taking a shower so I had to wait a few more minutes. She eventually came to the waiting room to get me and I was not looking forward to getting this shot. Back in GA I had to get the shot in my hip and it really hurt. It's a bigger needle. But the nurse today asked if I wanted it in my arm or my butt. Arm?! Why couldn''t they've stuck my damn arm last time?! Yes, my arm please. Thinking that I could finally go home after this she tells me that I have to sit in the waiting room for fifteen more minutes before I can go. Uuugh come on. After the fifteen minutes she had to take my vitals one more time and then I was finally out of there. Omg I was so ready to be home and eat something. I had to have a light breakfast because of the glucola test. So I went home, told Tim about my wonderful day at the hospital, and curled up in bed for a nap.
I can't wait for this to be over. When it is, one of us will be getting fixed. I only ever wanted two kids, a boy and a girl, and I will be so happy to have my little Colleen :3